If you want to improve your sex life, you may have considered sex toys, lingerie, or role-playing. However, there might be something else you should add to your shopping cart if you want to improve your sex life: books. There are plenty of books that will help you better understand your body (or your lover's), interacting with a partner, and how to have the best sex of your life. Below you'll find just a few of them.
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Dr. Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are is predominately a book about how women experience desire. However, readers will also find that they can use the knowledge in this book to filter their relationship experiences. And while the information in the pages might apply more to women, men will benefit by improving their connections with their partners and understanding their own desire.
Two of the most significant concepts Dr. Nagoski introduces the reader to in her book are responsive desire and the dual-control model of sexual desire. In Come As You Are , Dr. Nagoski turns the ideas that women experience lower sexual desire, and that desire must look a certain way on their head, and readers will most certainly benefit from it.
Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori Brotto
It's one thing to understand why you might struggle to become aroused or feel desire. It's another thing entirely to know what to do about it. Fortunately, Dr. Brotto has done the research and spelled it out in this book. Like Come As You Are , this book is geared toward women. However, it can benefit anyone who has struggled with desire and pleasure, as well as those people who want to help their partners experience more of those things.
Of particular note is Dr. Brotto's research on mindfulness, the only successful treatment for sexual dysfunction that cannot be explained away by placebo. Furthermore, mindfulness is something you can try right now from the comfort of your own home, which makes this book invaluable to readers who want to permanently improve their sex lives, including the reduction of painful sex, performance anxiety, and self-monitoring during sex.
Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller
Moving away from desire, we have a book about the most exhaustive research into sexual fantasies to date. Dr. Lehmiller asked over 4,000 Americans what made up their sexual fantasies, and the results are quite telling! This isn't a guidebook as much as it is an explanation of the research, but that research may allow you to more fully accept yourself by showing just how common your sexual fantasies are. Furthermore, Dr. Lehmiller's research might encourage you to open up to your partner about sexual fantasies to expand your sexual exploration, and he includes some advice for having those tricky conversations.
As Kinky As You Wanna Be by Shanna Germain
If your fantasies include a desire to explore BDSM in real life, then you don't want to miss this accessible book by Shanna Germain, write extraordinaire. In her book, Germain introduces the reader to BDSM and gives them all the tools to safely dip a toe in kinky waters in a way that offers the best possible outcome. While As Kinky As You Wanna Be might not be the best book for those who are a little further on their kinky journeys, it's a great starting place for those who aren't sure how to begin.
The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure by Charlie Glickman
If you've got a prostate, then you've got to check out this book by sexuality educator Charlie Glickman who teaches the reader about potential pleasures that can be unlocked by exploring the prostate. Then, Glickman walks you through how you can find and stimulate your prostate to experience more impressive and unique orgasms, potentially including multiple orgasms. Whether playing alone or with a partner, you can benefit from the knowledge contained within this book. Plus, Glickman has made a point to write a book that's inclusive, so anyone with a prostate will find it helpful.
Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz
Another book on this list that offers straight-forward and practical advice is Becoming Cliterate . Dr. Laurie Mintz is both a sex educator and researcher, and she uses her knowledge and experience as a basis for some of the most comprehensive advice about finding and stimulating the clitoris to date. Even if you consider yourself a fan and skilled clitoral manipulator, you might be surprised at just how much there is to learn about the clitoris, and Becoming Cliterate is there to teach you.
Not only is the depth of information in this book astounding, but Dr. Mintz has included an entire section for people whose partners have clitorises. After reading this book, you won't just wonder why we ever allowed ourselves to live in a world with orgasmic inequality; you'll be in a position to have improved solo and partnered sex.
Tongue Tied by Stella Harris
Finally, this is a book that will help you to talk all about sex with your partners. Whether that means addressing shortcomings, discussing fantasies, or establishing consent, you'll feel better equipped to handle the delicate discussions surrounding sex, especially if your previous sex education was lacking or negative. Ms. Harris accomplished much of this by helping the reader reframe the way they think about sex and relying on her experience as a sex coach.
Tongue Tied includes workbook pages that can help set you on your path to positive sexual communication. You can also follow exercises, which are surprisingly sexy, in the book. Or you can simply read the book and incorporate its advice into your life. You don't necessarily need to read the entire book if you know that you want to talk about sex more productively but just aren't sure how, which is one of the many reasons why this book is a must-read if you want to improve your sex life.
Not every book on this list will apply to you. You may be in a same-sex relationship, prefer vaginal stimulation, or already be an experienced kinkster. But if you pick books that seem the most interesting or have the potential to improve your sex life, you just might be able to tap into more pleasure.